Jan Foderaro and her family had just moved to the area when they began attending Blooming Glen Mennonite Church. Jan was taking some time off from her nursing career to be home with her children, and she was thinking about how she might serve in her church or community.
It just so happened that not long after the Foderaro family began attending Blooming Glen, a woman named Irene Bishop made an announcement that would prove to be just what Jan was looking for. Irene was the volunteer coordinator for Indian Creek Foundation. During the 1980s, our organization depended very heavily on volunteers to support our nonprofit staff. Volunteers helped in the workshop and residences, providing support and relief to the employees.
In 1988, Irene was tasked with a new challenge. A family member had approached Director Joe Landis to tell him, “Our children need friends.” Joe took the request to Irene, and the Friendship Connection was born. The announcement Irene made at church that Sunday was a call for people to become friends with individuals who received services from Indian Creek Foundation. Jan thought that becoming someone’s friend seemed like a wonderful opportunity, and she approached Irene to learn more.
A Simple Program with Many Possibilities
The Friendship Connection was a very flexible program. Participants were expected to go on at least one monthly outing with their Indian Creek friend. Beyond that, they were mostly given the freedom to build a natural relationship. Most participants in the Friendship Connection came from area Mennonite churches. They were vetted and interviewed before being introduced to a new friend.
Jan felt that her background in nursing would be a benefit to her volunteer role. She knew how to be careful and patient with someone who might have a complex medical condition. She also knew that her flexibility as a stay at home mom would smooth the scheduling process to spend time with her friend. She was excited to participate in the Friendship Connection and looked forward to meeting someone new.
Jan was introduced to Annie Wilford, a young woman in her 20s who lived in one of Indian Creek’s group homes. Jan was about 10 years older than Annie, and the two ladies became fast friends. Jan knew the expectation was for her to take Annie out into the community to enjoy various social activities. She tried several different ideas until she got to know Annie better. One of Jan’s priorities was to make sure her children got to know Annie as well. She wanted her kids to grow up knowing that people who have special needs can be great friends who have a lot to offer.
Time is the Most Important Thing to a Friend
One time, Jan decided to take her kids and Annie shopping at Kmart. The shopping trip got a bit complicated and quickly became a learning experience. Jan’s kids wanted their mom’s attention as they explored their interests. Annie also wanted Jan’s attention, and no one fully understood the need to share Jan and exercise patience while she tried to divide her time.
The lesson was an important one. Annie valued Jan very much and truly just wanted her time and attention. Jan found a wonderful compromise. She would bring Annie to her home for regular visits and holidays. This allowed everyone to be in the same place, but Jan could focus more of her time on Annie while her kids were occupied in their familiar environment.
When the two ladies went out into the community together, that was time for just the two of them. Annie got Jan all to herself for those outings. Their favorite thing to do together turned out not to be shopping at Kmart! Instead, they liked going out to eat. Annie had special restaurants she liked to visit, so the two would rotate through her favorites. These meals gave them time to talk about everything that any two girlfriends might talk about.
Jan also visited Annie at her group home from time to time. It was there that she learned about Annie’s family members by looking through her pictures and listening to Annie tell their names and share memories. At Jan’s house, Annie loved looking through magazines and exploring certain trinkets in the downstairs spare bedroom. Annie particularly liked watches and eyeglasses, and there happened to be several of each in that bedroom. She might pick them up and hold onto them during her visit. But Jan always reminded her when it was time to go that it’s important to put things back where they belong.
Annie (left) and Jan (right) at an event in 1993
The Joy of Being Loved
Jan joined the Friendship Connection hoping that she would gain just as much as she gave. What she found was that she gained so much more than she thought she could ever give. Annie was extremely generous with her love and expressions of it. She often told Jan, “I love you. You’re my friend, Jan.”
When Jan picked up Annie from the Indian Creek workshop, everyone there immediately recognized her and named her as, “Annie’s friend.” She felt very popular! Jan noted that Annie had a great Social IQ. She understood friendship and the expectations that come with it. She wanted to be a good friend to Jan just like Jan was a good friend to her. She showed an interest in anything going on in Jan’s life and confided her thoughts and feelings to Jan. She trusted Jan, and Jan took that trust very seriously.
Ultimately, Jan and Annie’s friendship was as genuine and loving as any lifelong friendship. What started as a volunteer opportunity blossomed into something very personal and special. When Annie began to experience heart failure, Jan stayed right by her side. She assisted Annie a bit more on visits while Annie could still get around pretty well. But eventually, Annie’s heart became too weak.
When Annie entered the hospital at age 54, Jan visited often. She also coordinated with the Chaplain to help keep Annie’s family up to date on her condition. Annie passed away on July 16, 2014. She died knowing that she was a very good friend who was deeply loved. Jan noted what an incredible legacy that is, to know that people know and love us for exactly who we are.
Friendship at Indian Creek Today
The volunteer structure has changed quite a bit since Jan and Annie first became friends. Today, our team of Direct Support Professionals (DSPs) provide meaningful friendship to the individuals they serve in our Residential and Day Programs. Our DSPs are caregivers who have a heart for making people feel valued, respected, and loved.
Jan always respected the professionals who provide around the clock care at Indian Creek. Not only did they help her friend Annie live a safe and fulfilling life, but they knowledgeably attended to her complex medical needs and those of her housemates. Jan’s advice to anyone considering entering this field as a DSP is to embrace opportunities to learn so that you can be the best possible friend to someone with fragile health.
If you are considering a career in caregiving or healthcare, check out our Careers page. Working as a DSP or intern is a great way to get hands-on experience with balancing the safety and health needs of someone while also providing genuine friendship.